The Runaway Bride
I think I have a million dollar idea. I just need some suckers...errr... investors. We have to strike while the iron is hot, though. If you aren’t prepared to invest 5 figures for this idea...please read no farther.
Runaway Bride Collector’s Plates. That’s right. Imagine the first plate depicting a sobbing fiancé with the Runaway Bride in the background laughing her ass off. Imagine the fine details such as glistening tears dusted with sparkles and the Runaway bride’s eyes done with genuine googly eyes!
You can cancel at any time if you are dissatisfied, but you’ll miss out on plate #2 featuring the Runaway Bride, with freshly shorn hair, riding a Greyhound bus, asleep like a little angel…her head resting against the shoulder of the bum sitting next to her…a long string of droll running from her mouth and pooling on her chest.
Plate #3 features the Runaway Bride trying to make enough money to make a furtive call back home to beautiful Duluth, Georgia (why anyone would runaway from there I have no idea!). Fine hand etching shows the Runaway Bride turning tricks in a back alley in Vegas; harsh neon lighting casting stark shadows down the length of the….alley. Finally the series culminates with the final plate. Plate #4 features the Runaway Bride hunched over a pay phone in the parking lot of a 7-11, a smudge of dirt on her cheeks and a tear in her tube top calling 911 to report her kidnapping and a worried Pakistani clerk offering her a bit of beef jerky til the police arrive.
Imagine how proud you’ll be displaying these in you living room or den.
That’s my idea. It’s a fortune maker. God knows I suck at poker these days.
Runaway Bride Collector’s Plates. That’s right. Imagine the first plate depicting a sobbing fiancé with the Runaway Bride in the background laughing her ass off. Imagine the fine details such as glistening tears dusted with sparkles and the Runaway bride’s eyes done with genuine googly eyes!
You can cancel at any time if you are dissatisfied, but you’ll miss out on plate #2 featuring the Runaway Bride, with freshly shorn hair, riding a Greyhound bus, asleep like a little angel…her head resting against the shoulder of the bum sitting next to her…a long string of droll running from her mouth and pooling on her chest.
Plate #3 features the Runaway Bride trying to make enough money to make a furtive call back home to beautiful Duluth, Georgia (why anyone would runaway from there I have no idea!). Fine hand etching shows the Runaway Bride turning tricks in a back alley in Vegas; harsh neon lighting casting stark shadows down the length of the….alley. Finally the series culminates with the final plate. Plate #4 features the Runaway Bride hunched over a pay phone in the parking lot of a 7-11, a smudge of dirt on her cheeks and a tear in her tube top calling 911 to report her kidnapping and a worried Pakistani clerk offering her a bit of beef jerky til the police arrive.
Imagine how proud you’ll be displaying these in you living room or den.
That’s my idea. It’s a fortune maker. God knows I suck at poker these days.
posted by Surgesilk at 11:55 AM
2 Comments:
Sorry, but you're a little late. I already have two of the four plates adorning my kitchen window. Also, they come in serving plates, desert plates and bowls. But it was a nice thought. Maybe they're not pattented yet and you can still get in on it?
There's got to be a story behind this one.
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