Runaway Bride continues

I won’t bore you with the inanity of my play lately. But good news! The saga that is the Runaway bride continues. By the way, fuck you JG.

Main Event Winner

Congratulations to my good friend LL J.G. (Ladies Love J G) for winning a $100+10 tournament on Pacific Poker and winning a seat at the WSOP Main Event (plus 4K in spending money). I am really jealous. I’ve won two seats in satellite events, but haven’t even come close in a main event tournament (not that I have played too many). And now, my stupid bank won’t allow deposits into poker sites.
I feel a sick day coming on and playing tourneys all day to join my friend!

Update:
Yes, this is the same JG who knocked me out two tournaments ago, and yes I knocked him out at the last tournament on the way to the win. Yes, I am still bitter.

Turd Wars

No I haven’t seen the final turd of a movie that is Star Wars. These people haven't changed my mind either.

Update:
Damn fine movie. While the acting is so wooden that termites are lining up to get at this film, the effects are stunning and Natalie Portman is hotter than ever.

Nate's Tournament

This Saturday I played in a NLHE tourney (18 people$50 buy in). I broke the cardinal rule of tournament play, I got aggressive early against a player I had never played before and with a player I know…let’s be honest…who sucks.
With a A,2 suited I came in and the flop comes A, J, 4 rainbow. I am last to act and make a 3x raise which gets called by both. “Uh oh” is what comes to mind. I think I am out kicked but maybe I can steal it. 4th street comes and it’s a Q. Again a small bet comes my way and I raise the pot. Both called.
OK so whatever comes on 5th I have to get out and sure enough its no help…it’s a 10. Board A,J,Q,10,4.
A smallish bet comes to me and I fold.
They both turn over. Neither has either a King or an Ace. Jack, 8 wins. This was my day. I played 3 hand in 6 orbits, and went out in 11th position as the blinds ate me up.
Fortunately, the ring game afterwards went much better. Omaha 8 can be an easy jackpot against players who aren’t strong on the pot odds.
I was home by 9pm with enough money in pocket for a hooker and a bottle of Blanton’s. ( I didn’t partake of either FYI).

Thanks to Nate for putting on a great tournament.

More Runaway Bride

Other less talented people have devised a Runaway Bride Hot Sauce and a doll…my idea still rocks, though. http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2005/05/14/1039873-ap.html

The Runaway Bride

I think I have a million dollar idea. I just need some suckers...errr... investors. We have to strike while the iron is hot, though. If you aren’t prepared to invest 5 figures for this idea...please read no farther.
Runaway Bride Collector’s Plates. That’s right. Imagine the first plate depicting a sobbing fiancé with the Runaway Bride in the background laughing her ass off. Imagine the fine details such as glistening tears dusted with sparkles and the Runaway bride’s eyes done with genuine googly eyes!
You can cancel at any time if you are dissatisfied, but you’ll miss out on plate #2 featuring the Runaway Bride, with freshly shorn hair, riding a Greyhound bus, asleep like a little angel…her head resting against the shoulder of the bum sitting next to her…a long string of droll running from her mouth and pooling on her chest.
Plate #3 features the Runaway Bride trying to make enough money to make a furtive call back home to beautiful Duluth, Georgia (why anyone would runaway from there I have no idea!). Fine hand etching shows the Runaway Bride turning tricks in a back alley in Vegas; harsh neon lighting casting stark shadows down the length of the….alley. Finally the series culminates with the final plate. Plate #4 features the Runaway Bride hunched over a pay phone in the parking lot of a 7-11, a smudge of dirt on her cheeks and a tear in her tube top calling 911 to report her kidnapping and a worried Pakistani clerk offering her a bit of beef jerky til the police arrive.
Imagine how proud you’ll be displaying these in you living room or den.

That’s my idea. It’s a fortune maker. God knows I suck at poker these days.

Events You’d Never Want to Participate in: Strip Poker, The Bloggers’ Event

Sometimes you get nostalgic for the innocence of your youth; when the world seemed magical, touching a woman's breast seemed unattainable and the lure of free beer undeniable.
Then you remember that you can hop on a plane to Vegas, getting plastered on the way, snort coke off the ass of an ex-Playboy-centerfold-turned-escort, and stay up way past 11pm and the world has meaning again.
This weekend finds a very exclusive event at Casa de Surgesilk, the NoLimit Strip Poker Invitational. The ratio of men to women is about right (me and 5 young ladies), but always looking for more players...of the right gender that is. What started off as a challenge thrown down by me to a 'friend' of mine, now has the possibility of being a bacchanal of Old Testament proportions. I have to admit, I'll have to change my betting strategy and be aggressive early on. But I am concerned about my concentration once someone gets...err....short stacked.
OK, I made that all up... ahhh youth.