Poker Table for Sale: Make an Offer; Stupid Offers will be made fun of! 

This is the poker table used at the last tournament. Its roughly 7' long and 31/2' wide with black speedcloth center, black diamond tiles inset in racetrack and cupholders. The railing is hi density railing foam covered in black vinyl.  

Plaza Poker Challenge

I think that's what it's called. I watched it last night and while I am not a Phil Hellmuth fan, (just shut the fuck already...when you whine you are usually beat anyway...and we all see it on TV) he did an admirable job as the color analyst. The players themselves were a pretty sorry lot. And I know this won't improve Big Slick's image...but I don't like to watch co-ed poker. That Renee chick with the shiny red hair...ickk. I have no problem, and in fact really enjoy the ladies events. They play fast and well. The men could take a page from the women when it comes to pace of play.
Its when the men and women play together...that's what I don't like....I don't really know why. I don't know why Nicole Ritchie disturbs me either, so I just avoid her.
Speaking of men and women playing together...I want to thank GI Jane for the FFFM in advance. Friday is my birthdate and that's her present to me. Not a bad way to go, I must admit =)

Poker Table 2

I'm looking for feedback on the table I built (Big Slick II). No issues I think with how it played and it seemed to be the right size for 8 and I think 10 would be fine as well. The first one was a monster, the Hummer of poker tables, this one is more of a Navigator.
There are one or two small changes I might make...so I am looking to sell this one, too.
$400 if I don't like you, $325 if I do. I'll have pics tonight. I forgot to take some during the tournament! Doh!

Results of the Tournament

Well, it was no WSOP or WPT, in fact it was the lowest turnout ever (only 8 players!) but we made a rule change and allowed rebuys the first two rounds and had $800 in play.
A friend of JG's won; Dwayne.
He went heads up with yours truly. I started with a massive 4-1 chip advantage. Unfortunately, twice in dominating positions, with Dwayne all in... my hands refused to hold up and Dwayne took the lead. In two consecutive hands he then flopped trips, I smelled out the first one, but in the second, with 3 clubs on the board on 4th street and the A clubs in my hand, I decided to make a move and was called. No help for Big Slick on 5th street and I bust.
Congrats to Dwayne who played well all day and was the only person not to rebuy.

Since JG will be headin off soon for WSOP, I was trying to give him feedback, not on his game...but on anything I was picking up off him. I hope it helps him take the bracelet.

Nasty came in third. After not making the money in the first 5 tourneys, he has now gotten paid in the last two. Congrats to him.

Big Slick's record...a decent 2 wins, 2 2nds, and a third. 5 out of 7 times in the $$. I can't argue with that.

Poker Tournament this Saturday 1:00

It’s that time again!!! As many of you know….the old table was purchased by J.G. and a new one is being built and its time to christen it right! As usual, RSVP as soon as you can!! Also, I'd like to get feedback on format and rules...any suggestions... be sure to let me know.


Official Rules:

The Game:
No Limit Texas Hold 'em

The Time:
1:00pm Saturday, June 25th

Buy In:
$50 +$5 (for beer, snacks, maybe a surprise appearance, etc) = $1500 in chips

Payout:
100% of buyin will be paid out
Payout will be based on total # of players.


Betting
Check and raise is allowed.
The minimum bet is equal to the size of the big blind.
The raise must always be at least the size of the previous bet orraise.
3 raise limit
Any player can bet all of their chips at anytime (ALL-IN).
When only two players are left sitting at the table, the BB is dealtto first, the button acts first before the flop, and the BB acts firstafter the flop.
Do not splash the pot. Stack your bets in front of you and push theminto the post after the betting round is complete. This will eliminatesome confusion that may occur with no limit betting.
Do not bet, check, call, fold, or raise out of turn.
Any vocalized intent is binding. Ex. If you declare that you are calling you cannot then raise. Or, if you say raise $20 and the minimum raise is $50 you will have been deemed to have meant raise $50.
The cards speak for themselves.
If there is any confusion on any rule the Tournament Director (me!) shall have final say unless I am the one involved. In which case, it will be put to the table for a determination.
THE DEAL
Seat positions will be decided by a random draw of players names.
The player to the right of the dealer must cut the deck before thecards are dealt.
The dealer is responsible for making sure that all bets have beencalled before dealing each round of card(s).
Mucked cards cannot be retrieved from the pile.
If a card is exposed during the deal, the deal is declared a misdealand the hand is re-dealt. The button does not move.
If a burn card or a mucked card is exposed, the card is made availableto the table. The hand is not re-dealt.
If a community card is exposed prior to the action being completed,the card remains as is. It will not be burned.
If there was a bet or raise on the end, the person who made that lastbet or raise shows his/her cards first. If it’s checked around, the firstperson to act (left of dealer) shows first.
SCHEDULE FOR BLINDS: $1000/chips
Time
SB
BB
Ante
30 minutes
$25
$50
$0
30 minutes
$50
$100
$0
30 minutes
$100
$200
$0
30 minutes
$200
$400
$0
30 minutes
$300
$600
$100


There will be a 10 minute break every 90 minutes. Anyone not at their seat for any reason will be have their blind automatically posted and will automatically fold their hand when they are in position to act.
When down to 5 players, the blinds will be raised every time a player is eliminated.
OTHER
Agreements can be made between players at anytime to split the payout.
If two players tie for the high hand, the pot is split. If thereis a split pot, not equally divisible by the number of players inthe hand, the “extra” chips will be awarded to the playerclosest to the left of the button.
If two players get eliminated in the same hand, the person who startedthe hand with the most chips gets the higher finish and awarded thecorresponding prize pool for that placement.

Saved by a cellphone

My twelve step program has been a mixed success. I have not played a hand of poker, either online or offline nor have I watched any poker on TV. OK…well, it happened to be on as I turned the TV on and watched 3 seconds of it til my steel will kicked in and I turned it off.
However, I have been craving it. In fact, I would have played on Friday in a new game. It’s a weekly game held by one of the guys, “Foosball” from my Wednesday game I had even called for directions and was getting ready to go when a friend of mine dropped by out of the blue. She had a bad week and wanted a drink and to blow off a little steam with her good friend (ok fuck buddy) Big Slick. Afterwards, we were relaxing, and my mind was calculating ways to get her out of the house so I could skip over to the game.
Then her cellphone rang, and I thought would give me the chance I needed, so I hopped in the shower (no need for poker players to smell fish) and when I came out, she said she had a surprise…her friend had had a long day and also needed to blow off some steam…Well, even an addict has his limits and its been a few weeks since I’ve had two chicks blowing off my steam…so…I was in for the night.
I know I’ll hear the siren song of the cards again…soon…and I don’t think I’ll get saved by the bell again. (then again, that would be good, too!)

Why I'm Better Than Jeff

***Guest Editorial*** by LL J.G. (Ladies Love JG)
Big Slick has been asking me to write a guest post to his blog ever since I won the WSOP seat, but given that I’m lazy and not a very eloquent writer, I’ve been putting it off. Plus I’d rather be playing some donkeys heads up on Pacific Poker during my free time. Big Slick wasn’t lying when he said that place is a gold mine – winning at least 7 out of 10 heads up matches is quick and easy. Anyway, so I finally broke down and decided to write something about winning the seat and my plans for then event. To win the event I spent $100+10 and beat out 221 other hopefuls – I got lucky when I needed to, and I put the hammer down when I developed a huge chip lead at the final table. The way those tournaments are set up with blinds going up every 10 minutes, you really have to get some cards quickly to have a chance – and fortunately I did. Plus with my girlfriend on IM the whole time promising me certain favors if I finished in the top 10, top 2, and winning the whole thing, I was especially motivated – hey if a trip to Vegas and the possibility of millions of dollars doesn’t work for me, other things will.

So I go out with some friends that night to celebrate, and I immediately get advice for the WSOP from everywhere I turn. One guy says be conservative the first day and never go all-in, not even with pocket aces pre-flop. Another guy says I should go all-in the first hand no matter what to establish that I’m the bully at the table. Yeah real smart genius, risk the whole tournament to win $75 worth of blinds. Everyone wants to put in their two cents, which is cool, but I really have no idea how I’m going to play – it all depends on the situation. The only thing I do know is that I have to come up with some sort of gimmick, and I think I’ve figured it out – face paint. Actually not only face paint, but legendary WWF wrestler face paint.

I figure that’s one good way to be noticed when you’re a nobody among a few pros and 6000 other crackers. Of course if I do really well, maybe I can sell some forehead tattoo adspace. Hey maybe I can have raisethehammer.com on there – how’s that for on-line marketing?

But anyway, with so many players, the only thing I can really do is play well. If I get busted early by a bad beat, shit happens, and I still won a free trip to Vegas to watch the event. If I get lucky and make the final table, everyone’s invited to come out and be my cheering section, and holy crap I’ll be a millionaire. But I have no expectations – except enjoying Vegas, and of course busting open Phil Helmuth’s nose if I see him.

JG

12 Step Program for Poker Players

I am a poker addict and here is my confession and submission to the 12 step program.

1) I admit that I am powerless over my addiction to drawing to inside straights - that our hands had become –EV.

2) Came to believe that a River greater than myself could restore my bankroll.

3)Made a decision to turn our chips and our decks over to the care of Odds as we understood the Odds.

4) Made a searching and fearless check raise when holding the nuts.

5) Confessed that we were bluffing, to ourselves and to another human being.

6) Were entirely ready to have Odds remove all these defects of play.

7) Humbly asked Odds to remove our bad play.

8) Made a list of all fish we had harmed, and became willing to accept busting them.

9) Made bets to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would get them to fold prematurely.

10) Continued to take personal inventory of my tells.

11) Sought through prayer and animal sacrifice to improve our knowledge of the Odds as we understood the Odds, praying only for knowledge of the river.

12) Having had a spiritual awakening and having read all of Texas Dolly’s books, we try to bust others, and to practice these principles in all poker games.

Why I Suck: Pride, Ego

Sometime the cards run cold, sometimes you play like shit….I’m doing both. My play has sickened me and I am simply too ashamed to post much about it. I had won 7 $50 or $100 heads up NLHE, in a row and 9 of 11 at Pacific Poker prior to this crash of epic proportions.
I suck online, I suck offline.
I think I know why. I’m play like a robot.
I want to show people how smart I am, and that I should have won with my starting hand…that my best were spot on…rather than listening to my instincts and actually winning money. I’m not sure where this is coming from. I think my lack of playing in tough games is actually hurting me….forcing me to be my best. Instead I am playing in a game with really poor players and that’s encouraged me to show my ‘superiority’ over them. Stupid me.
I’m taking a hiatus from playing, or even watching poker on TV. I won’t think about it til I can, in the immortal words of The Captain, “get my mind right”.

A good buddy of mine has a blog …well…that might be going a bit too far...its more of a proto-blog, check it out and ridicule him.